Wow! Has another month already passed? I really intended on writing more than once a month, but once again, the time has escaped me. Anyway, I was trying to think of a good topic for today and well I guess I’ll write about something that God has been trying to teach me for a long time. It’s a word I’m sure everyone has had their share of struggles with: patience. I’ve been having a hard time waiting for something (anything) to change in my life, especially over the last few months. It seems like most days are just the same old thing repeated over and over again, like I’m stuck in the movie Groundhog Day except I’m still getting older. I’m talking about things that are mostly outside of my control like a husband coming into the picture or a principal calling to offer me a teaching job. I know that I do have control over some things like my attitude or my walk with God, which still take a lot of patience and self-control to change. I was looking through my diary again and came across a few times when God was reminding me to be patient. So, here are some of my own words from 5 years ago (I was writing about this guy I liked at the time):
I kept thinking about how easy it was to talk to him. It’s like we clicked or something…All this was swarming through my head and I’m thinking “he could be the one!” Then, I’m not exactly sure how to describe this, but this feeling, an overwhelming thought came into my head, it was almost like it was shouting at me: “WAIT!” I would think about him some more and then again, “WAIT!” I have always been praying about my future husband and for God to give me patience as I’m waiting for him. I’m not completely sure, but I really think that it was God telling me not to worry about that then and to wait for something to happen.
Well, now I know that this was God’s way of trying to get my attention away from that guy because he was not right for me. I’m glad I listened and didn’t attempt to push myself into a relationship with him. Like I wrote in Fasten Seatbelts, Please, I was tempted to try to take the controls of my flight, but I trusted in God’s path instead. About a year and a half later I wrote this about my job: “I do need to just make the best of my current situation and trust God and wait on Him to get me through it and into His ultimate plan for my life.” That sounds like a familiar message and I wrote that in 2007! It sounds a lot like some of the verses that I’ve been repeating to myself and in this blog the past few months. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Also, Philippians 4:11: “for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”
There are so many examples from sermons I heard and books I read lately that continue to remind me to have patience. But, I think I’ll end this post with one more excerpt of my own words, this time from 2009, but they still hold true in my life today:
I guess I really do need to find contentment with God in the here and now instead of constantly longing for tomorrow. This is where God has me right now and things might change soon or they might not, but what really matters is that I allow God to work on my life today and let tomorrow take care of itself. "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34). I’ll leave you with a prayer (from Fame by Karen Kingsbury) that really is perfect for me right now: "God, please now my future see, make it clear where I should be. Open windows, close the doors, not my will, my God, but Yours."For another post on this topic, go to When Will This Chapter End?
