IWSG: Slowly Making Progress

Time for another posting with the Insecure Writer’s Support Group, where writers can share their insecurities and encourage one another. IWSG was founded by Alex J. Cavanaugh and we share our posts the first Wednesday of the month.

 Sorry about last month. I really thought I would find time to write a post during the week before I left, but I got caught up with over-packing and doing chores that needed to be done before I left. Then I copied down the monthly question and told myself I’d write a post during downtime, but, as is the case with most of my trips, downtime was used for resting.

Aside from experiencing a lot of cold and allergy symptoms since my return from New Mexico, February was a good month. I have been working through the KonMari Method with tidying up my stuff. It has been a slow-going process, but I’ve been seeing a little bit of progress as I make my surroundings more joyful and less cluttered. This process has really put a lot in perspective, and I find myself more thankful for what God has blessed me with. You may ask: What has this got to do with my writing? Quite a lot actually. All the clutter surrounding me has been one of the hindrances to my writing. As a person who likes to be organized, I felt so distracted and unable to concentrate when I tried to write. This is still a work in progress, but I have been thinking more about where I’m going with my writing. At this point, writing a novel is not my goal. I’ve enjoyed doing short stories and devotional writings, and I have a long list of ideas to utilize once my surroundings are more peaceful. It feels good to still be working toward the goal I made in January, which is to make more room for writing, and I’ve taken that quite literally!

Taos, New Mexico

Since I like this month’s optional question, I thought I’d give a quick answer. Whose perspective do you like to write from best, the hero (protagonist) or the villain (antagonist)? And why? I enjoy writing from the hero’s perspective, because I like showing how good can overcome evil within a conflict. I think I also feel more comfortable writing from a perspective that I can relate to. I’ve never tried this, but I have considered writing as the villain in a story of redemption, like The Grinch or my personal favorite: Megamind (if you have not watched that animated movie, I highly recommend!).

IWSG: Clearing Clutter, Changing Goals, and D&D

Time for another posting with the Insecure Writer’s Support Group, where writers can share their insecurities and encourage one another. IWSG was founded by Alex J. Cavanaugh. We usually share our posts the first Wednesday of the month, but since the U.S. Fourth of July holiday is on Wednesday this year, we are posting on Tuesday. July’s optional question is: What are your ultimate writing goals, and how have they changed over time (if at all)?

June went a little better than May for me, but I still have a lot of catching up to do in nearly every area of my life. It seems as though I will not be able to fully concentrate on my writing until I start clearing away the clutter around me. Not just concrete things like clothes and desk supplies (although those are on the list), but also digital clutter with emails and organizing files, and clearing my head of distractions and negativity. It has been a long, difficult process, and I feel as though circumstances keep trying to pull me backwards, but I must keep moving forward.

As for my goals, they have adjusted themselves over time. I still would like to write my non-fiction “quiet book” someday, but organizing those thoughts and ideas into meaningful words has proved harder than I thought it would be. I feel like I would have to change to a better, less stressful day job in order to give that project the attention it requires. I have recently grown fond of writing short stories and even a little flash fiction. I hope to get a short story published within the next few years. I have been tweaking and adding to my fantasy story entry from the 2016 IWSG anthology contest. My friend and her husband inadvertently helped me with it a couple weeks ago. ~ Warning: The next sentence will reveal just how much of a nerd I truly am. ~ They started a sort of Dungeons and Dragons role-playing story and invited me to join, so I decided to use one of my fantasy story characters. We are not following the typical D&D rules, but I think this will be an entertaining verbal storytelling experience. I highly recommend it for fantasy writers!

I guess I distracted myself from the initial question. My ultimate goal, under my current circumstances, is to publish at least one book. If I ever manage to obtain my dream job of being a stay-at-home wife and mother, I may be able to publish more (maybe). Under better day job circumstances, another goal of mine would be to write weekly devotional blog posts similar to the ones I used to write when I started this blog. So, to better my writing, I need to broaden my search to find a better job, or get married (lol 😄).

To my United States followers: Happy Independence Day!

Flashback Friday: Breaking the Silence

           **It's the last Friday of the month, so it's time for Flashback Friday! Participants repost an old post that needed more attention, that you're very proud of, that you think is still relevant, etc. It was hosted by Michael G D'Agostino, but he has opted out. You can still find a list of previous and current participants on his blog. The month of May sort of just vanished for me, and it seems my priorities have been shuffled around more often than not the last few months. I thought this post was an appropriate reminder for me. When I posted this, I had just come back after not posting for a year and a half. The blogging challenge I mentioned was the 2015 A to Z Challenge. I had no idea what I was getting into when I wrote this post, haha, but I'm glad that I got involved with the blogging community. Reading this again reminds me how much I enjoy writing (and learning) and I'm sorry for my blogging negligence lately. I know that I don't want to repeat a long term blogging absence, so I'm working on budgeting my time a little better. And now, the flashback post...**

Breaking the Silence (originally posted February 19, 2015)

           It has been quite a long time since I last posted anything.  I feel as though time has been against me, but I haven’t really been busy, at least not busier than normal.  I guess I’ve been sort of stumped for writing ideas and I really haven’t felt like writing a lot lately.  I have not even been journaling as much as I used to.  My creative side does not want to allow this to keep happening, so I am beginning again.  It is about time I dust off this old “pen” and take it up again.  With a new year already well underway, almost 2 months in, to be precise, I have felt inspired to make my own resolutions.  There have been many inspirations over the last couple months prodding me back to writing.  I recently finished a Bible study in Colossians which helped renew my prayer journal.  I came across a Great Courses catalog last month and ended up ordering some courses, including a couple on writing.  I’ve watched 2 lectures from one course about the way we structure sentences, and it has been enjoyable so far.  I’ve felt inspired in other areas as well.  I have always been excited about learning new things, so getting these courses has been encouraging.  I have also been studying Mandarin Chinese with Rosetta Stone, which has been tough but interesting.  I have been reading fiction on a more regular basis again.  All of this has helped me to feel renewed, inspired, and ready for some positive new beginnings/changes in my life.

This may not sound interesting to you.  Maybe reading, writing, learning, and Chinese sound too boring or too difficult.  My point is this: do whatever it is that inspires you.  Seek out ways to renew your interest in life.  Seek God above all else, because He is the ultimate source of inspiration and redemption.  God doesn’t want us to mope about in a pity parties about the state of our lives, our economy, or our country.  We need to go out and make the most of the time that’s been given to us. 

I hope to write more often.  In fact, I’m thinking about participating in a blog challenge and I will provide more details if I do decide to take part. I also hope to make a few changes and updates to this blog and those will come as time allows.  Until then, it has been nice to come back and I hope those of you who read this will enjoy whatever comes next :)

Question of the Month: Growing Up

 

The Question of the Month is a bloghop that was started by Michael G D'Agostino and it occurs the first Monday of each month. Here is the question for January:
 

What was your “growing up” moment?

            For me, “growing up” was more of a series of moments rather than one particular time. It’s those moments when I reach a milestone and realize things may never be the same again. Driving alone for the first time, my first job at Subway, the first time I made a purchase over $100 with my own income, giving a speech at high school graduation, going to college and living in the dorms, going to Bible studies and church on my own, my first apartment and paying utility bills, graduating college and getting my teaching certificate, and those are just the moments that occurred around 10 or more years ago.

            Then there are the moments like seeing teenagers at the mall and calling them “kids”, coming across multiple phrases that younger people use that I don’t recognize, realizing (as I’m writing this) that this year will be my 10-year college reunion, but I veer off course because these are moments that make me feel old, not grown up.

            Honestly, I feel as though I still have a lot of “growing up” to do. There are many things I have not yet experienced, like getting married, having a baby, and buying a house, but I no longer believe those things make us adults. I know wives, parents, and homeowners who still feel as though they have no idea what they are doing. I think God uses all of our experiences in life to teach us and we never stop learning. Since learning is a part of growing and maturing, I feel as though there will always be room for more of these “growing up” moments.
 

 

 

Do you have a "growing up" moment? Do you ever have those moments of feeling "old"?

Change is Coming

            I started writing out a fairly long post for today until I came to my conclusion and realized I cannot share it publicly, at least not right now. To sum it up, I was thinking over the last year or so and realized that I have not been handling things very well. I've allowed changes in my job to make too much of an impact on more important areas of my life. In my conclusion, I realized what needs to be done in order to reclaim my life. But first, there are a few steps I'll have to take to reach that point. If you pray, please think of my unspoken request in your prayers and pray that if this is God's will for my life that He will work out the details involved.

            In the meantime, I am trying to push myself back into the blogging and social media world. I've been lurking around most of this year without making very many attempts to connect with people. I do get tired of being a hermit, but like in physical conversation, online networking can wear me out. I guess I've taken my introversion to a new level, but really, once I get into commenting on posts again, it's not so bad. It is certainly easier than talking to people in person. I plan on eventually getting a new profile picture up and possibly changing my blog name, if I can come up with something. Until then, I have many future post ideas that are still lingering in my head, and writing my thoughts out today has helped me feel more motivated, even though I cannot share it all just yet.

 

*I hope everyone has a fantastic Thanksgiving! I will see you next week with my Flashback Friday post. *Have you ever come to a point where you know you have to make some changes in your life?

Throwback Thursday Photos

            Before I share some pictures I would like to give you a post schedule for the next few weeks. I figured sharing my schedule will help hold me accountable and provide a little more structure than normal for this blog.

Monday, October 26: The Listing Hop

Monday, November 2: Question of the Month

Wednesday, November 4: Insecure Writer's Support Group

Wednesday, November 11: Regular or photo post

Monday, November 16: A very special post TBA

November 23, 24, or 25: Thanksgiving week post


            And now, on to the pictures! These are from July 2014 when I went on a mission trip with a group from my church to Sonora, Mexico. The missionaries we visited live in a very beautiful, mountainous area and it was during rainy season. I took these pictures behind there house during the week and I thought that it was really neat how different this same spot looked as the weather was constantly changing. Hope you enjoy :)

 

Day 1

 

 Day 3 Morning

 

 Day 3 Late Afternoon

 

 Day 4, a very rainy morning



 

 Day 4 Late Afternoon, my finger got in the way, lol

 

 Day 5, right before we left

Back to Blogging and Question of the Month

This is the day which the Lord hath made;
we will rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24 (KJV)

               Well, after taking some time away from this blog, I am back!  I missed my blogger friends and sharing my writing, so I am glad to be getting back to a normal routine.  At work, we finally hired a new pharmacy cashier, so hopefully things will get back to normal there as well.  September was a rough month for me, and I do not want October to be a repeat, so I am using this new month as an opportunity to revive my writing.  I apologize to anyone who commented on my page last month who I didn't get back to, and I will try to catch up and make the rounds this week.  With this fresh start, I also decided to do a little rearranging and autumn redecorating on my page, I hope you enjoy!

October’s Question of the Month

The Question of the Month is a bloghop that occurs the first Monday of each month and it is hosted by Michael G D'Agostino from A Life Examined.

Who would play you in a movie of your life?

                You know, I tried to put more thought into coming up with the perfect person for the role, but my mind always went straight to the same person.  My problem is that I admire a lot more actors than I do actresses, so there are not many women I find capable of the role.  Someone who could probably play the role well is Jennifer Lawrence.  She is a talented actress, and I think she would understand my introverted character because she appears to be an introvert herself.  I thought of her because when I have watched Jennifer in interviews, I can tell that she feels awkward and nervous, and I also feel that way around large groups of people.  Beyond that, I don't think we have that much in common, but I still think she could pull it off pretty well.





I Want Your Opinions! Please!

           I have been considering my options for this blog.  For one thing, it will be under construction.  I am finally going to go through and put labels/tags on my posts, which has been something I should have done from the beginning.  For all of my new followers, a few years ago, I got into a bad habit of only posting once a month and at the last minute (meaning 11:59pm on the last day of the month), and I want to steer myself away from that this time around.  I may not make it every week, but I’m hoping to post at least once every two weeks, and knowing how I am, I will not set a certain day of the week to post because I get too OCD about it.  That being said, I will try to set some things in stone.  I am joining the Insecure Writers Support Group, so you can expect a post the first Wednesday of each month.  It’s all a work in progress and here is where you come in: Yes you! My followers and readers, including those of you visiting from Facebook.  I would like you guys to tell me your ideas, and who knows, I may just use them :)

·       First of all, I am thinking about starting a second blog devoted to hobbies and special interests.  I have an eclectic assortment of interests, but it mainly boils down to being a nerd.  I’m not exactly sure where I would go with it, but I like the idea of having a separate place to talk about my favorite movies and post pictures of my cats.  I might also use it to try out some short fiction stories.  Does this sound like a good idea or am I better off using Instagram and Pinterest for this sort of thing?

·       What are some repeatable, topical posts that you’ve used or seen?  I saw the Battle of the Bands, but I’m just not that well-versed in music.  I have considered using Throwback Thursday in some way.  And if I do the nerd blog, how about a Meme Monday?

·       Let me know any other ideas or suggestions you may have, and thanks in advance :)

           I will probably post next week to let you know any decisions I’ve made and I will go back to my regular posts about life lessons sometime in June.  It has been nice to take the month of May off after diving into the April A to Z Challenge, but I am gearing up for getting this blog into a new normal.

New

“You were taught with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV

What really gets to me in these verses is the part about being new in your attitude. Most people who accept Christ into their lives know about the “big” sins that need to go, but what about all those little habits or even the outlook we have on life? 1 Corinthians 5:17 states: “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (KJV, emphasis mine). As fallen creatures, we cannot become new on our own. We must allow Christ in first, but it is still a daily struggle to live outside of the ways of this world. One thing I’ve heard that has really helped me look at it differently is that if you give something up, you need to replace it with something else. Whatever that “something” is. It could be your attitude; replace negative thoughts with positive. If it’s a negative thought about another person, put yourself in their shoes and pray for them instead. It could be a bad habit. It could be an idol in your life. When I was spending too much time on Facebook, I finally decided to delete it from my phone for a while. I got back into reading again and I replaced the Facebook app with Rosetta Stone. By making these exchanges, we can help improve our lives and strive to be that new person. I would recommend reading Ephesians 4:17-5:1 for a further explanation of what that new creature looks like.

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I am currently participating in the Blogging from A to Z April 2015 Challenge. My theme is life lessons from the Bible. You can find more information about the challenge by clicking on the badge to the right or click here for a list of participants. It has been an interesting experience so far and I have enjoyed finding and visiting other blogs. If you are a fellow participant, thanks for stopping by and feel free to leave a comment!

Breaking the Silence

           It has been quite a long time since I last posted anything.  I feel as though time has been against me, but I haven’t really been busy, at least not busier than normal.  I guess I’ve been sort of stumped for writing ideas and I really haven’t felt like writing a lot lately.  I have not even been journaling as much as I used to.  My creative side does not want to allow this to keep happening, so I am beginning again.  It is about time I dust off this old “pen” and take it up again.  With a new year already well underway, almost 2 months in, to be precise, I have felt inspired to make my own resolutions.  There have been many inspirations over the last couple months prodding me back to writing.  I recently finished a Bible study in Colossians which helped renew my prayer journal.  I came across a Great Courses catalog last month and ended up ordering some courses, including a couple on writing.  I’ve watched 2 lectures from one course about the way we structure sentences, and it has been enjoyable so far.  I’ve felt inspired in other areas as well.  I have always been excited about learning new things, so getting these courses has been encouraging.  I have also been studying Mandarin Chinese with Rosetta Stone, which has been tough but interesting.  I have been reading fiction on a more regular basis again.  All of this has helped me to feel renewed, inspired, and ready for some positive new beginnings/changes in my life.

This may not sound interesting to you.  Maybe reading, writing, learning, and Chinese sound too boring or too difficult.  My point is this: do whatever it is that inspires you.  Seek out ways to renew your interest in life.  Seek God above all else, because He is the ultimate source of inspiration and redemption.  God doesn’t want us to mope about in a pity parties about the state of our lives, our economy, or our country.  We need to go out and make the most of the time that’s been given to us. 

I hope to write more often.  In fact, I’m thinking about participating in a blog challenge and I will provide more details if I do decide to take part. I also hope to make a few changes and updates to this blog and those will come as time allows.  Until then, it has been nice to come back and I hope those of you who read this will enjoy whatever comes next :)

Letter of Resignation

Warning: The following blog is a personal soapbox.

                Recently, I watched what this country would consider to be a controversial documentary called IndoctriNation.  It was about the decline of the American public school system and what it has done to our children and the people overall.  I taught kindergarten for one year after I graduated from OBU and it was a very tough year, so tough that I decided that something needed to change in my career.  After taking a year off, I started the application process again.  I tried adding English as a second language to my certification, thinking that working with smaller groups was what I needed.  I tried applying at smaller, local schools thinking that the inner-city system was what made my first job so hard.  I did get a few interviews, but, for some reason, I was never offered a job over the last few years.   I will admit that I did not put a lot of effort into applying because I was not sure if I wanted to return.  I was on the fence, but I believe God has used this movie to push me over the edge, and this is why I will not be applying for a public elementary teaching position this year:

                When I was in elementary school in Arizona, I remember learning many things and never felt a lot of pressure from the teachers to do well on a test.  We learned through hands-on experiences and teamwork.  I understood math better than most of the other students, but I was not bored because my teachers offered me the chance to work independently.  There are many other examples of how the teachers I had would cater to the different needs of the students.  My experiences in Arizona planted the first idea of becoming a teacher. 

                Unfortunately, things changed a lot over the years since I was in elementary school.  No Child Left Behind was passed, and from what I’ve observed in the schools, it seems to do the opposite of its intent with many students.  Learning and teaching is not as fun anymore with all the push for testing.  At the school where I did my student teaching, I was told that I could only have 15 minutes each day to teach a science lesson to the second grade class.  Many principals whom I have worked and interviewed with have said things like: “Students will not need to learn science and social studies until 4^th grade when they are tested over it,” “You can teach science and social studies to the kindergarteners through the literature you read,” and worst of all, “Those kindergarteners will not have time to play, you must focus solely on getting them to read by the end of the school year.” Now, I’m not saying that children should be running around wild in the classroom, but sometimes, learning can look like play.  Children learn best through interacting with their learning and by being given a chance to explore and discover things on their own.  Of course, the teacher is in charge of directing and guiding the children in their exploration and each child is unique in his or her pace.  I feel as though I have been told that type of learning is no longer acceptable and the teacher is expected to be standing in front of the class, holding a book.  It’s all about those dreaded tests held in April.

                I really could go on and on about that subject alone, but there are many other ways things have changed over the years for the school system.  The movie focuses on how God has been removed from the schools, and that is a far worse occurrence than NCLB.  Removing God and prayer from the schools has led to an overall disrespect for authority and a physically and morally unsafe environment.  IndoctriNation explains this and so much more and I would highly recommend it to anyone, especially teachers and parents with students in the public school system.

                At first, as I was watching the movie, I thought I should still try to teach to be a light for Jesus to my students, and I related my thoughts to one of the teachers they interviewed.  But, as they told her story, she mentioned that if she ever stood up for God in front of her students, she would be asked to resign immediately, and that is exactly what happened.  How can I be a light in a place controlled by a government that extinguishes all flames as quickly as possible?  Now I know that here in Oklahoma, things are not quite as bad as other areas, and I could talk about my beliefs in the classroom, but how much longer will it last?  Given the choice between my degree and God, I most definitely choose God.  I feel like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders.  I still may not know where God is leading me, but at least I know one thing He will not have me doing. 

P.S. Anyone know of any good private schools?  Can an elementary teaching degree be used for things other than teaching?  At least I know some tips for teaching my own children someday :)

www.IndoctriNationMovie.com

"But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15

When Will This Chapter End?

Well, I’m back in that writer’s block mode, and I’ve been here the past few weeks. Maybe it’s not really writer’s block, but a lack of motivation. I just can’t seem to get myself to put words to all the ideas floating around in my head. I guess I need to read my last entry again…So, since it’s been a while since I last posted, I thought I’d share something personal. This is some journaling I did about 2 years ago. It’s funny looking back at things I wrote. Part of me still feels the way I did, longing for a change of pace, but, at the same time, I feel like things have changed since then. The changes are just more gradual and inward instead of major changes in circumstances. Anyway, here it is:

I’ve got to hand it to all the great authors out there. They put words together in such amazing ways. Not only do they create great stories but they also create a mood, a feeling, a sense of adventure. I love the stories that just suck you right in and you just yearn to be there with the characters.  Sometimes reading those books isn’t a good thing for me. It makes my life seem so much more meaningless and purposeless when I know it really isn’t. I know God has some sort of purpose in my life, but the waiting is just killing me. I want something exciting to happen, something magical. I just wish I could have my own adventure, something novel-worthy. Not all the books I’ve read are fantasies with wizards and hobbits; I’ve read some realistic and historical fictions with situations that really could happen. Those stories really make me long for change in my life. Where’s my Mr. Darcy? I wish I could attend an old-fashioned 19^th century ball, why is most of today’s dancing so horrible and sexual? And why do you always have to have a date if you want to dance?

Really, I do just want something different to happen to me, no more than that…something life-changing. Something that makes a major difference in my life that’s good. A change for the better. I just feel like I’m in an in-between place right now and it feels like I’ve been stuck here forever. When I graduated high school this is not the kind of life I pictured myself living at this point. I should be married, I should actually be doing a job that feels meaningful that I enjoy. After last year’s teaching experience, just the idea of going back to an elementary school makes me cringe. I know that it was my first year, and it was a kindergarten class in an inner-city school, but it’s still hard to completely convince myself that things could be different. And as for a husband, I only wish I had a slight hint of who or when, but it just seems so far away. I realize that things can happen fast; that major life-changing events can take place within a short time span. But, that still doesn’t make me feel any better about it right now. Obviously, I still have some kinks to work out and I know what some of them are. I know God wants me to be fully prepared, and I hope I will be and that my husband will also be ready for me. Maybe my story is not a great adventure, maybe it never will be…but it is my story and with God as the author, it will turn out exactly how it is supposed to. I guess I just need to take comfort in that.