Remedy for a Broken Heart

                I have considered writing about this many times, but I usually change my mind. Part of me feels like no one will really care. Part of me feels that no one will really understand. Part of me believes that my pain should be kept to myself because I do not want it to be burden on anyone else. But maybe, there is someone out there who does care, someone who does understand, or someone who needs to hear about my heartache to help them realize they are not alone. So, that is why I have chosen to share this in such a public manner.

                Here’s the short summary of my story: In November 2018, I met a man. He swooped me off my feet with his smile and his kind words. We flirted, we had deep conversations, we hung out and played cards, and most importantly, we did devotionals and prayed together. He helped me get through my parents’ divorce. I treasured his companionship and his insights. He was everything I wanted. There is so much more, but I won’t go into all the details. Then, around February and March of last year, he started cutting me out of his life. He stopped the devotions, he stopped inviting me over for cards, he took away the key he gave me to his house, he stopped responding to most of my texts, and he would often give me the cold shoulder when we saw each other in person. The worst thing about all of this is that we were never officially in a relationship, so I guess he felt he had the right to take everything away with no explanation, no closure, nothing. It’s like he took me on this amazing trip, then abandoned me in the middle of the desert with no map and no water. It breaks my heart all over again just thinking about it.

                I’m not asking for sympathy. I know I’m not the first person to feel this pain. I’ve gone through all the stages of grief multiple times. I can’t really say that I’m angry with him for breaking my heart into a thousand pieces, I did offer it freely to someone who never made a commitment to me. Be careful who you give your heart to, it’s not something you can just take back without scars. That is one lesson I have learned through all this. But, there is a more important lesson.

                A lot happened over the last year: heartbreak, family issues, work issues, and Covid, among other worldwide events. Through it all, there has been one, and only one, constant in my life. That is Jesus Christ, my Savior. When literally all else seemed lost, He was there. When I was crying my eyes out, face down in the floor, He was there. When I felt as though I would never find hope on this earth again, He was there. This has given all new meaning to the word, Emmanuel, which we often hear around Christmas. God with us. God with me. I would not be able to get up and go without God’s presence in my life. Under the circumstances, I could never find peace and hope on my own, but He has truly granted a peace beyond understanding within me. Yes, I have my up and down days, but I will keep pressing on because I know that I am not alone.

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV

Given a Second Chance

                I was once reading Isaiah 38 where King Hezekiah was praying and crying out to the Lord for his life. God granted his request. God had the prophet Isaiah tell Hezekiah that he would be given an additional 15 years of life, and God, in an act to show Hezekiah He meant what He said, made the sun go backwards! That story made me think of a similar situation in Les Misérables, where the priest gave Jean Valjean a second chance and Jean was shocked that anyone would help him at a moment when he thought he would be thrown back into prison. Hezekiah and Jean’s words are similar in their songs that follow these second chances. I know in these stories that the men were given a second chance after moral failures, but I think this concept could also apply to personal goals.

                We sometimes use a new year to start over. 2020 was a very difficult year for most of us. Plans canceled, dreams ruined, and goals unachieved made this last year feel rather disheartening. Now, as we enter into February, how many of us have already lost sight of our goals for the new year? Maybe circumstances outside of your control have hindered your plans once again, maybe you decided to ease into this year with caution, or perhaps you have procrastinated or failed to achieve what you hoped to over the last month. Regardless of the circumstances or the failures, you can always try again or set a new goal. Sometimes, you just need to take a different approach. I had spent years trying to sort through and organize my belongings, only to end up buried with stuff over and over again, until I discovered the KonMari method, which worked wonders for me. Also, when it comes to taking a different approach, sometimes something that works for another person will not work for you. That seems to be especially true with diets. We are all different, our bodies are different, and sometimes we may have to try and fail a few times before we find a method that works. The point is that you keep trying! If you are given an opportunity to make a positive change in your life like Hezekiah or Jean, make the most of it. As long as you are alive and breathing, God still has a purpose for your life. You can start over, you can try again, and you can keep working toward your goals. Don’t give up!

                I would like to welcome my returning followers and new readers back to my blog. I have given my blog a second chance and a new name. I had hoped to start posting early in January, but I suppose I should take a dose of my own advice and work on finding an approach that works better for me with my writing.