Winter Poetry

            Occasionally, on the last Friday of the month, I do a Flashback Friday post. I suppose this post would fit into that category because I am sharing some things I've written in the past, although I have never shared these on my blog before. I'm sharing two short poems I wrote about winter. The first was written when I was 17 for my Junior English class portfolio. The second was written in 2013 as a response to someone on Facebook who wrote a poem about how she disliked winter.

Change

The winter winds are starting to blow.
Blowing the orange and red leaves to the ground.
The ground is covered with an icy dew.
Dew that makes the grass crunch with each step.
Step-by-step, the season is changing.
Changing as snowflakes begin falling from the sky.
The sky is a pale blue without much light.
Light comes from the bright, white blanket of snow.
Snow that glistens with beauty.
Beauty surrounds you in the snow and ice.
Ice covers the ponds and trees.
Trees are now bare, in the beginning of the winter.


In Defense of Winter

Would you like it with a good book,
or how about cuddled in a nook?
Would you like it nestled by a fire?
That should satisfy your warmth desire.
Would you like it with boots and a sweater?
Those certainly make the best of the weather!
Not even in the fresh, fallen snow
with beautiful whiteness all aglow?
I love the cold! Please don't wish it away.
It's much more pleasant than a hot summer day!

I know there are many people who do not share my sentiments of winter. Which season is your favorite? Have you ever written about it?

Flashback Friday: When the Magic Fades

           **I have not done a Flashback Friday post for a while, but I was thinking about this subject while I was at work the day after Christmas. Then, I realized I had already written a post about it before, so I thought it was worth a reshare.**

When the Magic Fades (Originally published on December 31, 2012)

         Christmas can be a magical time of year. Children are excited, the weather changes (for some), beautiful lights and decorations flood the stores and streets, and many people seem to be in a merrier mood. Of course, this isn't always the case. Some people do not enjoy this time of year-and to them I say bah humbug!  For those of us who are Christians, we have an even greater reason to celebrate. I know we have all heard this a lot, but it is important to set aside time to remember how God sent His Son to earth to take on an earthly body as a little baby boy, knowing He would one day sacrifice that Son to save us.
This year brought an amazing Christmas Day for my family. After a fairly hectic month with work, doctor appointments, and crowded shopping, that day was so peaceful. My brother and I took charge of making the dinner, and he even ground up the turkey and stuffing so my mom could enjoy it since her jaw isn't fully healed. We enjoyed gifts and filming the cats (our children) with their new toys. Then, as my dad was reading about the nativity, it started snowing! It was a great day that we did not want to end.

Christmas Day 2012

         After such a wonderful day, I was deeply saddened as I started at work the following day. Despite the weather, many people decided to take advantage of the clearance sales, so the store was crowded. But I expected that. What really got to me is that after such a magical day, everyone was carrying on business as usual. Customers were frantic and impatient. Drivers on the slick roads were the same. My coworkers were discussing grievances about the job. It was like time was frozen in the snow that one Christmas Day, and then it unfroze and life forgot it. It seems that the music, lights, joyful spirits, and goodwill all faded in an instant. Why do people allow themselves to forget so quickly?  Why do we change back to our normal glum selves when the family goes home and the decorations come down?  Shouldn't we have those joyful feelings and kindhearted nature all the time?  And what about those who don't feel that way even on Christmas?  I don't believe God meant for us to get so caught up in our day to day busyness that we become grumpy, depressed, stressed-out, or inconsiderate.  We need to not only look at Christmas through the eyes of a child; we also need to find that childlike faith all year long.  So, as we enter a new year, don't allow the Christmas spirit and its true meaning to fizzle out. If you are too busy to reflect on the joys of each day, then you are too busy!  Let us not forget the things God has blessed us with. As my pastor says, if God doesn't bless you beyond your salvation, you still have a reason to thank Him. And if you are not saved, please consider God's gift, it's the best Christmas present of all! 

“But Jesus called the children to him and said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.  I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.’”   Luke 18:16-17 (NIV)

Flashback Friday: Breaking the Silence

           **It's the last Friday of the month, so it's time for Flashback Friday! Participants repost an old post that needed more attention, that you're very proud of, that you think is still relevant, etc. It was hosted by Michael G D'Agostino, but he has opted out. You can still find a list of previous and current participants on his blog. The month of May sort of just vanished for me, and it seems my priorities have been shuffled around more often than not the last few months. I thought this post was an appropriate reminder for me. When I posted this, I had just come back after not posting for a year and a half. The blogging challenge I mentioned was the 2015 A to Z Challenge. I had no idea what I was getting into when I wrote this post, haha, but I'm glad that I got involved with the blogging community. Reading this again reminds me how much I enjoy writing (and learning) and I'm sorry for my blogging negligence lately. I know that I don't want to repeat a long term blogging absence, so I'm working on budgeting my time a little better. And now, the flashback post...**

Breaking the Silence (originally posted February 19, 2015)

           It has been quite a long time since I last posted anything.  I feel as though time has been against me, but I haven’t really been busy, at least not busier than normal.  I guess I’ve been sort of stumped for writing ideas and I really haven’t felt like writing a lot lately.  I have not even been journaling as much as I used to.  My creative side does not want to allow this to keep happening, so I am beginning again.  It is about time I dust off this old “pen” and take it up again.  With a new year already well underway, almost 2 months in, to be precise, I have felt inspired to make my own resolutions.  There have been many inspirations over the last couple months prodding me back to writing.  I recently finished a Bible study in Colossians which helped renew my prayer journal.  I came across a Great Courses catalog last month and ended up ordering some courses, including a couple on writing.  I’ve watched 2 lectures from one course about the way we structure sentences, and it has been enjoyable so far.  I’ve felt inspired in other areas as well.  I have always been excited about learning new things, so getting these courses has been encouraging.  I have also been studying Mandarin Chinese with Rosetta Stone, which has been tough but interesting.  I have been reading fiction on a more regular basis again.  All of this has helped me to feel renewed, inspired, and ready for some positive new beginnings/changes in my life.

This may not sound interesting to you.  Maybe reading, writing, learning, and Chinese sound too boring or too difficult.  My point is this: do whatever it is that inspires you.  Seek out ways to renew your interest in life.  Seek God above all else, because He is the ultimate source of inspiration and redemption.  God doesn’t want us to mope about in a pity parties about the state of our lives, our economy, or our country.  We need to go out and make the most of the time that’s been given to us. 

I hope to write more often.  In fact, I’m thinking about participating in a blog challenge and I will provide more details if I do decide to take part. I also hope to make a few changes and updates to this blog and those will come as time allows.  Until then, it has been nice to come back and I hope those of you who read this will enjoy whatever comes next :)

Flashback Friday: Flying Against the Wind

             **It's the last Friday of the month, so it's time for Flashback Friday! Participants repost an old post that needed more attention, that you're very proud of, that you think is still relevant, etc. It was hosted by Michael G D'Agostino, but he has opted out. You can still find a list of previous and current participants on his blog.
            You know, while I did decide not to participate in the A to Z Challenge this year, I did not necessarily intend on taking nearly the entire month away from blogging, but that's what happened this month. This post from October 30, 2011 seemed appropriate for my state of mind lately. It often seems that time is against me, but April has not been entirely unproductive. I got some reading done, from both informational and fictional books, and I finally conquered a huge organizational project that has been on my to do list for over a year. Anyway, that's enough current news, now it's time to flashback.**
        

Flying Against the Wind

           One windy day, as I was sitting in my car on my lunch break, I saw a dragonfly. This particular dragonfly was determined to fly against the wind. It flapped its little wings as fast as it could. I watched as it flew forward a few feet, only to be pushed back by a gust of wind, over and over again. It kept going, even when its efforts only kept it in one place for a few seconds. I don't know if that dragonfly ever reached its destination, but I do know that it wasn't about to let a little wind change its course.

            Sometimes life is like that. You try as hard as you can, but something is always putting up a resistance. Sometimes you can't seem to get past a certain point, like you're suspended in mid-air, and, sometimes, you get pushed back to where you started. When this happens, you probably feel like giving in and just letting the current take you away. Instead, you should learn a lesson from the dragonfly: Don't give up. When the struggles and pressures of life try to push you backwards, push back. Life wasn't meant to be easy, and pushing against the wind helps us to grow stronger. Remember that if you know Jesus, you are not alone in your flight. He is there to help you along and lead you back to the right path if the wind gets you off course. God is there when you feel over taken: "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31) Aren't the wings of an eagle so much stronger then those of a dragonfly? Also, remember that God has the power to stop the wind: "And He arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm." (Mark 4:39) So, just keep flying, and remember the dragonfly when the wind blows against you.



Pixabay.com

Flashback Friday: Cats

            **I forgot to pre-schedule my Flashback Friday post! But, it's alright because it is still Friday where I am. Since it is a bit late, I thought I would include something new at the end as a bonus. Flashback Friday occurs the last Friday of the month. Participants repost an old post that needed more attention, that you're very proud of, that you think is still relevant, etc. It was hosted by Michael G D'Agostino, but he has opted out. You can still find a list of previous and current participants on his blog.**

Just a Quick Word (With Cats!) - Previously published July 24, 2015

 

            Just for fun, I thought I would introduce everyone to my cats.  They have made some appearances in post pictures before, and I thought they deserved a proper introduction!

 

Here they are:

 

 

They're pretty lazy

 

 

 

This is Kitty:

 

 

We wanted to come up with a great name for her when she was a kitten, so we waited for her personality to develop.  But the next thing you know, we just couldn't come up with anything more fitting than Kitty or just The Cat since she was our only indoor cat for a while.

 

 

This is Sawyer:

 

 

He's my lap baby and a great comforter after a long day at work.  He also likes to sleep in a lot of strange positions, so he ends up in more pictures than the other two.

 

 

This is Sophie:

 



 

She is the bratty, "little sister" of this clowder.  She sometimes ninja-strikes all, whether cat, dog, or human, who cross her path.

 

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And now (3/31/17), here is a little bonus picture. Can you spot the new cat?:

 

 

This is Arwen. While Kitty, Sawyer, and Sophie rule the indoors, Arwen is an outside cat who chose my family. She is a bit camera shy and she doesn't always come around, but I managed to capture her in a rare moment of getting cozy in the little house we got for her.

Flashback Friday: Witnessing a Miracle

            **It's the last Friday of the month, which means it's time for Flashback Friday. Participants repost an old post that needed more attention, that you're very proud of, that you think is still relevant, etc. It was hosted by Michael G D'Agostino, but he has opted out. You can still find a list of previous and current participants on his blog. It has now been two years since the accident I mentioned in this post and Victoria's progress continues to astound me.**

 

 

Witnessing a Miracle (previously posted February 25, 2016)

“Pray without ceasing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (KJV)



Victoria, Sam, Aleigh and Lucas with their parents and grandparents

 

            This past Sunday, February 21, 2016 marked one year since Victoria Turner, two of her siblings, and her maternal grandparents were in a terrible car accident. Today Victoria, or Tori, as she’s often called, is a living, breathing miracle. I have shared her story before, but I haven’t given an update for a while. So, I thought I would share my own personal reflections of those months last year.

On February 14, 2015, I had the privilege of babysitting my friend’s three precious children while she was with her husband at our church’s sweetheart banquet. I absolutely adore her kids and consider them like family. One week later, late in the evening, those three children were in a terrible car accident with their maternal grandparents. The middle daughter, Aleigh, and grandparents were fine (which was a miracle in and of itself), but the oldest son, Samuel, and youngest daughter, Victoria, were critically injured. Samuel had a fractured ankle and pelvis and Victoria had multiple skull fractures and brain injuries; they didn’t think she was going to make it. When I heard the news the following morning at church I was struck with such a sense of hopelessness and concern. I had just held Tori and read to her the previous week, what was I to do? There wasn’t anything I could do except pray. So that is what I and my church did.     

Samuel was released within a couple weeks, but Victoria took a turn for the worst. She got pneumonia due to her weakened immune system, and had to be put on life support. So, in the weeks following we continued to pray for this precious two-year-old. There were so many ups and downs during those critical weeks when many people, including myself, checked the Facebook page repeatedly throughout the day hoping for good news. Eventually, the miracle we were praying for came and Victoria survived! After months of therapy, a transfer to a hospital closer to home, and slowly being weaned off the oxygen support, Tori was finally able to return home in June. One of many amazing things about all of this is that during her time on life support, the doctors were not able to treat her skull fractures, but when they finally took an x-ray they found that the fractures had healed on their own and no additional surgery was necessary.

This picture was taken the day I went with Victoria, her mom and little brother to her check-up
 

She is still undergoing speech therapy, but she communicates her needs fairly well with her limited vocabulary. I have had some opportunities to observe her at play, I even got to let her sit in my lap and read to her again, and I think she seems just as bright and eager to learn as ever. I was watching her run and play with another three-year-old at church the other day and every time she laughed or smiled I was reminded of what a miracle and a testimony her young life has already been to so many people.

My church was strengthened in prayer during that time. We came together as one body and the power of prayer was shown in a way that most of us will never forget. And we were not alone. The church has somewhere between 200 and 300 members, but the Pray for Tori and Sam Facebook page has over 9000 likes. It amazes me that so many people beyond our church were willing to pray and show support for Victoria and her family, and all of those lives were impacted by this tragedy. Prayer is powerful, but things may not always turn out the way we want them to. Even if things had gone the other way with Tori, her parents said they would still believe that God works out the good in all things. Of course, it is better to always be in prayer, whether we are in the midst of disaster or delight, but as incomplete works in progress, we probably lapse in our prayer time once in a while, especially if things are going smoothly.  Just remember that God is always just a prayer away and He wants to hear all of your needs, your desires, your worries, your fears, your praise, and your worship.

 

 

 

You can find more information about Victoria's journey on the Pray for Tori and Sam Facebook page, and the pictures I shared in this post are from that page.

Flashback Friday: A Mysterious Case of Spots

            **It's the last Friday of the month, which means it's time for Flashback Friday. Participants repost an old post that needed more attention, that you're very proud of, that you think is still relevant, etc. It was hosted by Michael G D'Agostino, but he has opted out. You can still find a list of previous and current participants on his blog. I skipped FF last month because of the holidays, but I still enjoy sharing my old posts. I almost feel as though I was a better writer five years ago than I am today. This post is from June 30, 2011. I think I need to take my own words to heart and slow down, cherish the small things, and get reacquainted with the pleasures of writing.**

A Mysterious Case of Spots

 

            You know, God really does work in mysterious ways sometimes, or at least amusing ways. The other day, I was in a rush all day long. I rushed to get ready for work, I rushed to work, I rushed at work, I rushed at lunch, I rushed home after work, and I rushed to get ready for a church camp meeting. As I was driving to the church camp, I glanced down at my knee to adjust my skirt and I saw these 3 big brown spots that weren’t there that morning. Being the worrywart that I am, all these crazy thoughts came rushing through my head: “What are those? Are they blood clots, have I been standing too much? Are they moles from being in the sun too long? Did I get blood blisters from running into something? What did I run into? That leg has been feeling kind of funny today, when was the last time I looked at it?” I said a prayer and hoped to God that it wasn’t anything serious. Well, those spots preoccupied my mind as the camp kids played games and sang songs, but I finally calmed down a little when the preacher started his sermon. As soon as I got home, I had to investigate those spots so I could determine my fate. I looked up and down my leg and found 2 more spots on the bottom of my foot. Then, I sat on my bed and pulled my knee close: “Hmm, those spots are raised, they must be moles…” I rubbed one and it started coming off, then it hit me…It was chocolate! In my rush between work and the camp service I had grabbed a half-melted energy bar and was eating it as I was changing. The melted chocolate had flaked off and got squished onto my skin. I am glad I didn’t ask anyone else for prayer that night, but I guess I did need prayer for my mental state.

            As funny and embarrassing to admit as that is, it really did make a few good points. First of all, I was reminded that I shouldn’t worry so much. Sadly, that is not the first time (and probably not the last) that I invented some horrendous scenarios in my head only to find that there was a perfectly reasonable explanation to my object of worry. When I was a teenager, I used to worry all the time if someone in my family was gone and got home late. I’ve imagined car accidents, fires, thieves, bridges collapsing, etc. and usually I would find out they just made an extra stop or there was a lot of traffic. I was reminded of Luke 12:25-26, which says, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” In other words, worrying isn’t going to get me anywhere, so I might as well leave everything in God’s hands.

            Another thing those spots reminded me of is the need to slow down. The only reason I got them in the first place is because I was rushing around all day. I can still get things done without working myself up into a frenzy. Sometimes we just need to take a break, enjoy the scenery, and just savor the moment. I know I usually end up ignoring the most important things when I get too busy. I’m always trying to get everything done on my never-ending to-do list, and I can’t seem to give up even just 15 minutes for what really matters. I don’t leave enough time for prayer and Bible study, a phone call to my best friends, a chat with my mom, or even playing with my cats and dogs (they’re family too). Those are the things that my time should revolve around instead of meaningless repetitive tasks. I think of the story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10. Jesus told Martha in verse 41-42: “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Mary chose to stop and listen to Jesus instead of trying to take care of all the busywork, and I guess I should take a time out once in while, too.

            Finally, I was reminded that sometimes something that looks bad is actually something good. I thought some chocolate was a disease. Circumstances can be the same way, they may seem bad as you’re going through them, but they can end up being blessings in disguise. “We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). So, the next time you’re feeling over-stressed, way too rushed, or worried beyond control: slow down, take a deep breath, and repeat after me, “Dear Lord, please heal my chocolate!”

Flashback Friday

            **It's the last Friday of the month, which means it's time for Flashback Friday. Participants repost an old post that needed more attention, that you're very proud of, that you think is still relevant, etc. It was hosted by Michael G D'Agostino, but he has opted out, though you can still find a list of participants on his blog. Today is also a day known as Black Friday, although the last few years, many stores have moved their sales to Thursday, which is a shame. If you're like me, you've given up on shopping in stores and have already snagged some deals online throughout the week. For those who are out and about: Stay safe and I hope you can still find some deals today! This post is from November 30, 2011.**

Finding Peace in the Chaos

Psalm for the Troubled Spirit

        In times of trouble, You are there.

You, O Lord, bring me friendships when I need them the most.

You encourage me when life is at its worst.

When I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, You give me more slack.

When I pray, You give me a peace that passes all understanding.

You are always with me, even when my heart isn't fully with You.

When I'm struggling or confused, Your Word provides me with encouragement and wisdom.

Even when the answer isn't clear, You still give me endurance to keep on the straight path.

Sometimes this world is a scary place and the future looks bleak, but You are still there.

Your presence is what truly brings me hope and peace in a chaotic world.

          So, as we enter the month of the December, let's remember what is truly important. Some people get depressed this time of year, but don't let circumstances bring you down. Remember that Jesus is the reason we celebrate Christmas and that He is always with you; during the highs and the lows of life. Focus on the blessings in life instead of the negative things. Allow God's love and the comfort of friends and family to carry you through this month full of frantic shoppers, busy schedules, and stressful deadlines. If you get a moment, slow down and savor the magic of Christmas. Look at Christmas through the eyes of a child again. The snow, the lights, the beautiful decorations, the music, and most of all the love that comes from the hearts of those around you. Taking the time to find joy in the midst of pandemonium can help you to spread that joy to others, and maybe together we can shine the light that so often gets burned out.

Flashback Friday

 

            **Is it really time for Flashback Friday already? I have spent most of the past week in my personal bubble of solitude trying to simultaneously finish, edit, and revise my story for the IWSG anthology contest. I will try to come back up for air when this thing is submitted! Back to Flashback Friday, participants use the last Friday of each month to repost an old post that needed more attention, that you're very proud of, that you think is still relevant, etc. It is hosted by Michael G D'Agostino at A Life Examined. This is my post about my insecurities from last year's anthology contest. The only difference this year is that I have no mixed feelings about my entry, I just got to get it ready for submission!**

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October IWSG  (October 7, 2015)

  



            Time for another posting with the Insecure Writers Support Group, where writers can share their insecurities and encourage one another.  IWSG was founded by Alex J. Cavanaugh and we share our posts the first Wednesday of the month.  The co-hosts for October are:

TB Markinson, Tamara Narayan, Shannon Lawrence, Stephanie Faris, and Eva E. Solar.

            In September, IWSG announced that they would be having an anthology contest for group members.  We have until November 1 to submit a short story about a parallel universe or alternative history.  This is my insecurity this month.  As soon as I saw the contest, I was so excited about it, but now I’m having mixed feelings/second thoughts.  I really want to submit a story, I have an idea, I have the characters lined up, and I even started writing.  I am just not sure if I can pull this all together in a sensible way by November!  During this process, I realized that I have not written any fiction since high school, beyond a list of ideas and a couple opening paragraphs to stories that may never come to be.  I don’t even know if my fiction will be likeable, but I guess this is an opportunity to find out.  I have to start somewhere.  I hope I can get it done. 

Flashback Friday: Fiery Trials

            **This post is a part of the Flashback Friday series. Participants use the last Friday of each month to repost an old post that needed more attention, that you're very proud of, that you think is still relevant, etc. It is hosted by Michael G D'Agostino at A Life Examined. I wrote this post exactly 4 years ago on September 30, 2012, and it only got 2 views, so I thought it should be resurfaced.**

Fiery Trials

 

            Do you ever get the feeling that you've been outdone by someone else?  Maybe that's not exactly the right way to phrase it...Has there ever been a time that you have felt down-in-the-dumps depressed and then you come across a story or some news that is far worse than what you are going through?  When you hear about someone whose life is harder than yours, do you feel upset with yourself for feeling down about your own situation?  Or maybe it's the opposite: Do you ever feel like other people have it too easy and barely have any problems?  Of course, there are many different levels of pain both emotionally and physically and each of us handles things differently, so I guess we can't really put our trials on a scale. 

            God knows everything about us, so He knows what we can and cannot handle.  Maybe, when you are in the midst of the fire, you may not feel like you will make it through the flames.  But, if you call out to God for help, He will not let the flames completely consume you.  He discerns and assesses your situation and knows exactly how much oxygen you have left and when to pull you out.  I've heard it said in church that God uses the trials in life to refine us.  Just like pottery, we have to go through the fire to become a finished piece.  1 Peter 1:6-7 says, "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that your faith -- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 

            Christians will all go through trials and tests of their faith.  I'm speaking to myself when I say there is absolutely no reason for us to compare our troubles to one another.  Each person is unique and struggles with different things.  Romans 12:15 says, "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep."  So, instead of trying to judge what seems fair or who is better off, we should just be encouraging and comforting to one another regardless of our own situation.  And when you feel like the flames are surrounding you, just remember all the blessings God has given you. 

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail."

-Lamentations 4:11

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

-James 1:2-4

Flashback Friday: Deja Vu

            **This post is a part of the Flashback Friday series. Participants use the last Friday of each month to repost an old post that needed more attention, that you're very proud of, that you think is still relevant, etc. It is hosted by Michael G D'Agostino at A Life Examined. I had to laugh to myself when I came across this post titled "Not Again" from September 30, 2011. I forgot how often my life would veer off course from my blog back in that first year of blogging, and sadly, still today. I actually will be addressing my unforeseen time away and making some very long overdue visits in the next week.**

Not Again

 



           I cannot believe another month has passed by and I haven't managed to get a post up. I have got to get myself on some kind of schedule. To all of those potential readers out there who have probably given up on me: I have ideas...I really do! The problem is getting them out of my mind and into words that make sense to the rest of the world. I can't believe that it has been a year since I started this journey. I was rereading my post and I remembered how enthusiastic I was. I had (still have) so many ideas of stories and topics to write about and I was ready to share them...or so I thought. I guess the past year has been kind of like a long distance race and I didn't pace myself the right way. I started out as fast as I could, I posted twice a month and at least one of those posts was something new. Then, I started losing wind and started searching for diary entries or poems I had already written. Now, I am barely moving forward and only trying to keep pace just to get my monthly time stamp. My last entry was in the middle of August and it was an obituary for my dog with mostly pictures. Look at me now, I am sitting here summarizing my blog...The motivation has disappeared and I am trying to find my second wind. As the Bible says, “...let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us."(Heb. 12:1, KJV) Ok, so I guess I'm taking that verse a little out of context, but in this race that is set before me, I have been weighed down. Instead of writing for fun and inspiration, I have only been writing out of obligation and thoroughness. I have allowed my enthusiasm to dissolve into the pool of all my other thoughts and tasks. I want to get motivated again, so, I know I've said this before, but don't give up on me yet. I still plan to keep this going. I hope that stories and poems from my past are at least mildly entertaining, and I do hope to get some more intriguing new material out in the future.

Here's a past post about getting motivated in a race (maybe I should read it again): Attaining the Prize

Flashback Friday: Fasten Seatbelts, Please

**This post is a part of the new Flashback Friday series. Participants use the last Friday of each month to repost an old post that needed more attention, that you're very proud of, that you think is still relevant, etc. It is hosted by Michael G D'Agostino at A Life Examined. This post from November 15, 2010 really struck a chord for me with how my life has been the past few months.**

 

 

 

Fasten Seatbelts, Please

 

 “Be still and know that I am God.” Those words from Psalm 46:10 have always made an impact in my life, and most of the time I never realized it. I can’t remember when I first learned that verse, but it has come back to me at many of the toughest points of my life. Over the past few years, the impact of those words and their meaning has impressed itself upon me. It usually happens when I start getting worked up and worried. I over-think everything going on in my life and start asking all those “why,” “how,” and “what if” questions. I finally drive myself to a state of total confusion and frustration, and that’s when God reminds me of His Word. He said, “Be still.” Calm down, breathe, let go of those anxious thoughts. And here’s the best part: “Know that I am God.” No matter what I’m going through, whatever is troubling me, God is there. He knows everything that is going on, and He is in control. Knowing that really does bring me back to a sense of peace and comfort. Here’s another way I look at it: I have no idea how to fly a plane. I could sit in the cockpit and mess with all the buttons and knobs, but I doubt I’d get anywhere without a real pilot in control. Life can be the same way sometimes. It’s better to sit back and enjoy the ride instead of trying to rush to the front of the plane and fly it myself at the first sign of turbulence. I just got to trust that my pilot (God) knows what He’s doing and I could really crash and burn if I try to take matters into my own hands.

            There are times when we become overwhelmed or fed up with the circumstances we’re in and frustration and worry begin to overthrow our emotional state. If we remain in this state of imbalance, where anger or depression rules, we can end up making rash decisions, saying things we don’t mean, or worse, becoming apathetic toward God. I’ve been there, and believe me, it is much better to capture these thoughts before they lead you down the road of depression and self-pity. So, with God’s help, I remind myself of the words He gave us to comfort us and bring us peace in the midst of trials. There are many verses in the Bible that talk about dealing with trials because the authors of those words had trials, fears, and worries just like us. Here are some other verses that have been particularly meaningful to me in times of trouble:

*"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

*"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

*“Cast all your cares (anxiety) on Him because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

*“But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.” (James 1:6)

*“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)

Flashback Friday: The Beginning of a Writer's Journey

**This post is a part of the new Flashback Friday series. Participants use the last Friday of each month to repost an old post that needed more attention, that you're very proud of, that you think is still relevant, etc. It is hosted by Michael G D'Agostino at A Life Examined. This is my very first Blogger post from September 19, 2010.**

 

 

The Beginning of a Writer's Journey

 

I went to the ladies retreat with my church this past weekend and I came across this sudden inspiration to write. I guess in God’s eyes, it’s not sudden at all, He knows all the seeds He has been planting over the years. I think the very first seed was planted back when I was in 6^th grade in Arizona. Through my class' writer’s workshop I first learned about the writing process and different types of poetry, and I found out that I really liked writing. During jr. high and high school, I didn’t get the same enjoyment from writing for my classes, except in my 11^th grade English class with the writing portfolios we kept. I did start keeping a diary on a semi-regular basis during high school, and have written in it on and off since then. Those were more seeds for my inspiration. In college, writing became more of a chore, there was always something that needed to be written about in every class, and even many of my exams were essay tests. I started to get tired of writing so much and began to, as they say so nicely, “BS” my way through many of my reflections and reports. Despite these strained feelings toward writing, seeds were still planted from others. My professors would remark on how thoughtful and well-written my reflections were. There was a fellow student who asked me to help write a skit for a group project because she heard I was a good writer. My friends sometimes commented on my cards or emails being inspiring. But at that point in my life and even up until about 2 years ago, I didn’t feel like an inspired, good writer.

Part of my inspiration to write comes from reading good, engaging books. A couple years ago, I hadn’t read anything for a while, and I decided to start back up again. I picked up one of Karen Kingsbury’s books at the library and had no idea what I was getting myself into. For those who haven’t read her books, Karen takes you into her stories in a way that makes you feel like you’re a part of them. I feel like the Baxters are real people who I know personally. There are many other good authors, but the reason I was drawn to Karen’s stories was because those were the types of stories I wanted to write back in the 6^th and 11^th grades. Realistic fiction: that was the genre I was drawn to; inspiring stories of things that could happen in everyday life. Reading her books revived my desire to write. I started collecting ideas for books or stories by making lists in notebooks, on my computer, in my phone…I had so many ideas floating around that I became overwhelmed with them and had no idea where to begin. So I procrastinated and still did not feel motivated to write, at least not publicly.

Finally I find myself back where I started: with the retreat (everything written beyond my first sentence above was just background information…) The theme was “A Legacy to Remember.” Beforehand, I didn’t really feel like I had a legacy to leave, and being without a husband or children, I had nobody to leave it with. But, God was already preparing my heart for what I’d learn over the weekend. I read a devotional story right before I left on Friday. It was about a girl’s grandmother who wrote thousands of letters to her children and grandchildren throughout her life. It says, “Part of Gram’s legacy was how she lived her life, but part of it, too, was the words she left with us all—words that became an extension of the woman who penned them.” I reflected on the fact that this story mentioned a legacy, which just happened to be the theme of this retreat I was about to leave for. I also began thinking about how much I would love to write more to encourage my friends and family. During the retreat, so many women talked about the legacies that have been passed down through the generations of their families. But, what I noticed the most was the many times writing was involved. Twyla read a story she wrote when she was younger; Darla mentioned the importance of keeping a journal of your thoughts and reflections; Sara brought journals from her experiences in Germany and Mexico. I came to the realization that maybe writing could become my own legacy. After all the encouragement and inspiring moments over the years, my spark was finally ignited. So, I am beginning a journey, one that I plan to share with my friends and family. I don’t really know where this journey is taking me, but I know that I plan to continue on. I want my words to leave a legacy in someone’s life. I don't know if my writing is really that good or not, but I hope these writings are uplifting to those who wish to bear with me through these beginning steps.