Wednesday, May 25, 2016

The Struggle is Real


            Well, it’s time to come out of hiding and return to the world of blogging. I have been procrastinating this post because I felt a little guilty for not making any visits since the A to Z Reflections posts. I wanted to and I even read a few posts on my phone without leaving a comment because my phone makes commenting too complicated. I have been a little burnt out from my job and the overall lack of sleep in April. I was just going to post a quick update with some pictures today, but I felt compelled to go a little deeper. I gained a few new followers (if you’re still following after my hiatus) during the A to Z Challenge and I thought I would tell you a little bit about myself and this blog. This should be a little different even for those who have been following me longer.
            Lately, I have been dealing with some struggles. Even before the challenge, I was having trouble balancing things in my life. I am a procrastinator and a night owl, which leads to many late nights, which in turn, leads to a zombie-like wakeful state. I am also an introvert and most likely struggle from undiagnosed social anxiety. I work in a retail pharmacy, which is definitely not a good job for someone with my disposition. When I get off from work, my energy levels are nearly drained and it is hard to find motivation to do anything at all until I unwind for two to three hours. By that time, I should go to sleep, but as a night owl, I try to get some things done, which inhibits my sleep and the cycle begins again.  I like to put thought into my posts and my comments on others’ posts, and that usually comes in the moments of higher energy or on my days off from work. My blog has the word “random” in the title for a reason. There are just times when my thoughts get all mangled during the course of the day and I still feel the need to get a post up, so it ends up being pictures or something very short and not as well-worded as I would like it to be.
            In the midst of all this, there is still one thing that remains constant in my life, and that is the presence of God. I may not always mention Him in my posts, but God is the one who keeps me stable when everything else seems to be in chaos, and He is constantly working in my life. Even with my issues in balancing time, I have managed to keep up with the reading the Bible in one year program I started in January. I can only attribute that to God prodding me to keep at it, although there were times when I was not paying enough attention to what I was reading and I still do not pray as often as I should. Before I joined the blogging community through the A to Z Challenge last year, most of my posts were about the lessons God was teaching me in my life. At that time, I only posted once a month, but I did put more thought into those posts. With my decision to post once a week, I do not always find the time to write the thought-provoking devotionals I used to, but I still have a long list of ideas for those types of posts. So, I am hoping to get back into writing posts about what God is teaching me at least once a month.
Baby Sawyer was so little :)
Wow! I guess I took too long of a break! I have more I could write, but I think this post is long enough and it is getting late (procrastination strikes again). I will probably continue this train of thought at a later date. Until then, I will try to set aside some time this afternoon for visiting (with comments) and I will be back here next Wednesday with the monthly Insecure Writer's Support Group post.

14 comments:

  1. I'd like to read some of those posts.
    I stare at a computer all day for work and it's tough to stare at it even more in the evening.

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    1. Alex, staring at a computer can get tiring. I usually have to take multiple stretch breaks and I sometimes doze off...

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  2. You could probably re-post some of your devotionals; I know I would enjoy reading them. Good that you are reading the Bible through the year program, but don't "sweat it" if you "fall behind." Just keep reading. The important thing is to read the Bible, as you know, not how long it takes us to get through it. So slow and steady wins that race. I know some people get bogged down if they aren't "on plan" and then stop reading it altogether.

    A/Z overwhelmed me this year more than previous years. I am questioning whether I'm going to do it next year, we'll see :)

    Working in retail is stressful; working pharmacy retail I bet would even be more stressful! I can see why you would need downtime from it when you got home from work.

    betty

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    1. Betty, I am thinking about signing up for Michael D'Agostino's Flashback Friday monthly hop to share some of those older devotional posts. I'm going to see how it goes for those who are participating this Friday. I do have a lot of new posts in mind as well, it's just the writing part that is harder to come by :)

      I need to keep reminding myself that if I want to enjoy the A to Z more next year, I need to not procrastinate and have ALL my posts pre-written! Maybe A to Z would be easier for you if you don't sign up to be someone's minion next year? Although, I'm sure it is fun to help the co-hosts out, I would like to help if I wasn't working full time.

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  3. I, too, would love to read about your faith journey. I enjoyed knowing more about you in this post. You sound like an awesome lady. God's blessing to you.

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    1. Thank you, Mary! I am glad you enjoyed :)

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  4. Glad to see you haven't stopped posting entirely. A to Z was a bit much this year. It takes time to recover.

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    1. Liz, I think I made some poor decisions about my sleeping habits last month and it has been hard to get back into a blogging groove. But I'm glad I posted today :)

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  5. Well you have taken the first step and written it all down.
    Hopefully things will get sorted out on its own.
    Just have a 20 min walk daily and see the difference :-)

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    1. Haddock, I do hope I can get things sorted out and better prioritized :)

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  6. I've always been a night owl, but I can control it. Having children will make you learn how to in a hurry....or die from exhaustion! I love what I do, but I need some downtime usually when I first come home (30 min or an hour) before I can dig into dishes and what is for supper. I just internet around everything else. Blog a post when something comes to my crazy mind. Like this evening, it is raining, we are having left overs and there is nothing on TV that I like. So, I'm catching up on posts I missed.
    Barbara, blogging at Life & Faith in Caneyhead

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    1. Barbara, when I'm feeling more energized, I do like to catch up on reading blog posts. I had my night owl tendencies under control for a little while, but it starting reoccurring in the last few months. I need to set a bedtime for myself again!

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  7. I didnt do A to Z this year because last year I burned out. I'm seeing a lot of people who said this year took a lot out of them. I think I'm going to participate next year and after that I probably won't. It's becoming too much.

    I read a few comments and saw you said you might sign up first the Flashback Friday monthly blog hop to share your devotionals and I think that's a great idea.

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    1. Chrys, I enjoy the A to Z, but it really was tough this year. I will probably participate next year but we'll see about how things go with my schedule and if I can have my posts ready.

      As soon as I saw Michael's email about Flashback Friday, I thought it sounded like a great way to bring my older posts back and no preparation required :)

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