The Struggle is Real

            Well, it’s time to come out of hiding and return to the world of blogging. I have been procrastinating this post because I felt a little guilty for not making any visits since the A to Z Reflections posts. I wanted to and I even read a few posts on my phone without leaving a comment because my phone makes commenting too complicated. I have been a little burnt out from my job and the overall lack of sleep in April. I was just going to post a quick update with some pictures today, but I felt compelled to go a little deeper. I gained a few new followers (if you’re still following after my hiatus) during the A to Z Challenge and I thought I would tell you a little bit about myself and this blog. This should be a little different even for those who have been following me longer.

            Lately, I have been dealing with some struggles. Even before the challenge, I was having trouble balancing things in my life. I am a procrastinator and a night owl, which leads to many late nights, which in turn, leads to a zombie-like wakeful state. I am also an introvert and most likely struggle from undiagnosed social anxiety. I work in a retail pharmacy, which is definitely not a good job for someone with my disposition. When I get off from work, my energy levels are nearly drained and it is hard to find motivation to do anything at all until I unwind for two to three hours. By that time, I should go to sleep, but as a night owl, I try to get some things done, which inhibits my sleep and the cycle begins again.  I like to put thought into my posts and my comments on others’ posts, and that usually comes in the moments of higher energy or on my days off from work. My blog has the word “random” in the title for a reason. There are just times when my thoughts get all mangled during the course of the day and I still feel the need to get a post up, so it ends up being pictures or something very short and not as well-worded as I would like it to be.

            In the midst of all this, there is still one thing that remains constant in my life, and that is the presence of God. I may not always mention Him in my posts, but God is the one who keeps me stable when everything else seems to be in chaos, and He is constantly working in my life. Even with my issues in balancing time, I have managed to keep up with the reading the Bible in one year program I started in January. I can only attribute that to God prodding me to keep at it, although there were times when I was not paying enough attention to what I was reading and I still do not pray as often as I should. Before I joined the blogging community through the A to Z Challenge last year, most of my posts were about the lessons God was teaching me in my life. At that time, I only posted once a month, but I did put more thought into those posts. With my decision to post once a week, I do not always find the time to write the thought-provoking devotionals I used to, but I still have a long list of ideas for those types of posts. So, I am hoping to get back into writing posts about what God is teaching me at least once a month.

Baby Sawyer was so little :)

Wow! I guess I took too long of a break! I have more I could write, but I think this post is long enough and it is getting late (procrastination strikes again). I will probably continue this train of thought at a later date. Until then, I will try to set aside some time this afternoon for visiting (with comments) and I will be back here next Wednesday with the monthly Insecure Writer's Support Group post.