WEP: Change of Heart

            For the August challenge, the WEP (Write...Edit...Publish) is collaborating with the Insecure Writer's Support Group. I decided to take a different approach and wrote a monologue. I should give credit to my brother for suggesting this idea, because I probably would not have participated otherwise. My monologue is short, but I like how it fits with the Change of Heart theme. It was another interesting writing experience, and I hope you enjoy.

The Dilemma

In or out?

Why must I always be faced with such a decision?

This opportunity does not present itself very often,

And I feel so pressured to make a choice.

I could enjoy the pleasures of staying in,

But then I’ll constantly wonder what’s going on out there.

In here, I feel safe and warm,

I know exactly the best area to make myself comfortable,

And I have all the accommodations I could hope for.

On the other hand, out there I can find excitement and adventure;

There’s so much to explore, and so much to do and see.

If only my demands could be met immediately,

And I can get out when I need to.

But I am forced to decide my fate based on the whims and fancies of others.

Who do they think they are, anyway?

They go out whenever they please,

Sometimes without even asking me what I want to do.

I tell you I am sick and tired of it all!

Oh no! The door is about to close!

This opportunity is about to pass me by.

I must go out! Now!

Hello, world outside the door!

The door…

The door has been closed behind me.

No, wait! I wasn’t ready!

I had a change of heart,

I don’t want to be out here anymore.

Please let me back in,

This was a mistake!

Come back, my human!

---

Word count: 232, FCA

IWSG: Maximum Insecurity

Time for another posting with the Insecure Writer’s Support Group, where writers can share their insecurities and encourage one another. IWSG was founded by Alex J. Cavanaugh and we share our posts the first Wednesday of the month.

The main insecurity that I dealt with in July applies to my current job situation, and though other factors come into play, this definitely affects my writing, or lack thereof. I feel as though my job is this enormous obstacle that stands in the way of most of the things I want to do. I’m especially reminded of this during the summer months when there are so many activities going on with my church and among my friends, and I only get to participate in a fraction because of work. I have hinted before that I would like to quit my job and write full time, but that idea somewhat frightens me. It seems a bit irresponsible, especially in the eyes of some people in my life. Though, my hesitancy mainly is caused by a fear of failure. What if my writing isn’t accepted anywhere? What if I’m overcome by writer’s block all the time? What if I can’t find a new job if this doesn’t work out? So many what ifs and I am not the greatest decision maker. I constantly pick stability over leaping into the unknown, and I wonder how much longer my creativity can withstand being pushed aside.

I wish I could say that I have something figured out, because this issue has been plaguing me for quite some time. At least I can say that I have done some writing the past few months, mostly journaling and prayers. I try to remind myself to squeeze it in during less stressful and less distracting moments. To end on a more positive note, I found a few encouraging quotes: