Wednesday, August 1, 2018

IWSG: Maximum Insecurity


Time for another posting with the Insecure Writer’s Support Group, where writers can share their insecurities and encourage one another. IWSG was founded by Alex J. Cavanaugh and we share our posts the first Wednesday of the month.

The main insecurity that I dealt with in July applies to my current job situation, and though other factors come into play, this definitely affects my writing, or lack thereof. I feel as though my job is this enormous obstacle that stands in the way of most of the things I want to do. I’m especially reminded of this during the summer months when there are so many activities going on with my church and among my friends, and I only get to participate in a fraction because of work. I have hinted before that I would like to quit my job and write full time, but that idea somewhat frightens me. It seems a bit irresponsible, especially in the eyes of some people in my life. Though, my hesitancy mainly is caused by a fear of failure. What if my writing isn’t accepted anywhere? What if I’m overcome by writer’s block all the time? What if I can’t find a new job if this doesn’t work out? So many what ifs and I am not the greatest decision maker. I constantly pick stability over leaping into the unknown, and I wonder how much longer my creativity can withstand being pushed aside.

I wish I could say that I have something figured out, because this issue has been plaguing me for quite some time. At least I can say that I have done some writing the past few months, mostly journaling and prayers. I try to remind myself to squeeze it in during less stressful and less distracting moments. To end on a more positive note, I found a few encouraging quotes:




15 comments:

  1. I'm really sorry your job gets in the way of writing. And life. writing full time has never been my goal, but I'd be just as bummed if I never got time to do it.

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    1. Alex, I can't decide if full-time writing is my goal or not, but job options are rather limited in my small town. I definitely need to make some sort of change.

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  2. The job sounds rough. It's very difficult to make a living as a full time writer. I wish the best in a big decision.

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  3. I wouldn't say that jumping into writing full-time is the answer. Because if you're not making any money at writing now, the money isn't going to materialize when that's all you're doing. But, if the job is sucking the life out of you so much you can't write in your off hours, perhaps you need to seek new employment. Because nothing sucks your creativity more than worry. (This I know from experience.)

    Good luck. I'm sure you'll know just the right thing to do.

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    1. Thank you, Liz. You're right, I need to get out of that life sucking job. It's not easy to find another job in a small town, and I have family issues preventing me from moving right now. I guess it's time to start digging a bit deeper in this employment search.

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  4. That sucks about your job. Can you ask if you can get hired on with your church? At least you would then be one step closer to claiming the life you want.

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    1. Loni, I'm sure that would be a good idea at a bigger church, but most of the positions I'm interested in at my church are voluntary. Maybe they could hire me as a librarian, my church could use a nice library :)

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  5. What a sweet post Elizabeth. I so much wish I could write full time and pursue my heartstrings. Someday? Maybe? Maybe for you too when the time is right. Thank you for all the quotes today. I love the second one. :)

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    1. Thanks Erika! If circumstances were ideal, all writers could enjoy the pleasure of pursuing writing full-time, that would be wonderful :)

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  6. Can you go part time at work and then write part time?

    betty

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    1. Betty, I really wish I could go part-time, and I have tried, but my work "needs" me too much. We are constantly short-staffed. I wonder what they'll do once all of us loyal workers quit...

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  7. I am one for stability so I couldn’t say just quit but what I can say is this, ....in 5 years from now or 10, will you feel good about your decision to stay where you are at? When reading this do you feel a sinking feeling that you could have written more and enjoyed life more? Do you feel a smile come across your face when you realize you took your dream and made it a reality? If you come up to the answer that you would feel regret that you did not take that chance, then don’t have that regret. I am not a believer in regrets to be honest so I hope that helps a bit.

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    1. Thank you, Birgit! It does help. Those are really good questions to ponder.

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  8. Sounds like you are in a tough situation. Yet you seem to be putting others first. Until my health forced me to retire, my writing had to fit around my work so it was sporadic. That point of 'changing jobs' and becoming writer even terrifies me looking back to enforced retirement. Not recommended.

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