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| Garden of Lights, Muskogee, Oklahoma |
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| More Garden of Lights |
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| Rhema Bible College, Tulsa, Oklahoma |
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| Sophie (Yes, that is a lamp shade) |
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| Kitty finding warmth under the tree |
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| Sawyer |
Anyway,
back to the question at hand. What I love about writing is that it is a form of
release and of expressing myself. As a socially-awkward introvert, I tend to
hold up a lot of thoughts and feelings inside my head throughout the day. I
have had many moments where I just have to unleash the anger, frustration,
anxiety, sadness, excitement, joy, etc., or I might just burst. That is why I
find journal entries, story ideas and starts, and prayers written or typed out
everywhere. I use whatever paper or note-taking app is near me when the urge
comes. I also love it when something comes together to a point that it’s worth
sharing. I have a lot of ideas that seem interesting, but sometimes it’s hard
to take them from my mind palace to the page in front of me; everything gets
jumbled into nonsense. So, when those pent-up feelings actually produce
something worthwhile, I do like to share the experience with others. |
| Story of my life last month |
Time for another posting with the Insecure Writers Support Group, where writers can share their insecurities and encourage one another. IWSG was founded by Alex J. Cavanaugh and we share our posts the first Wednesday of the month. The co-hosts for October are:
Today,
I’m participating in Chrys Fey’s If I Were a Mobster Blogfest. She decided to do a blogfest to celebrate the release of her latest novella, 30 Seconds Before. I thought this
sounded like fun and it was also a great opportunity to practice character
creation. Here is my mobster:
That verse has so often applied to
my life, especially this summer. I thought I had some great posts planned out
and ready to be scheduled during the past few months, however, the summer turned out to be a lot busier than I thought it
would outside of the blogging community. In the last eight to ten weeks, I have
had two, maybe three, full 24-hour days spent at home. I have been constantly
on the go to work, church activities, shopping trips, and outings with friends
and family. In early August, I went to an amazing youth conference as a youth
worker/leader, and I am really glad I decided to go. Besides my job, I do enjoy
all these aforementioned activities, but my introverted self is in desperate
need of some alone time to recharge my energy. Without being recharged, I feel
strained socially, mentally, and emotionally. If you have come across me, whether in person or online, I
apologize if I seemed cross or unpleasant; it may have been one of those
completely drained moments. 
This question represents something I like about
the IWSG, because it proposes a great way for us to share advice with one
another. I look forward to reading as many posts as I can get to. But, you are
probably here to read my answer, and honestly, I do not make very much time for
writing on busy days. I usually squeeze it in around bedtime (when most of my
ideas suddenly hit) and jot down a few senseless notes before dozing off. There
were a couple times when I was being a little more proactive and recorded some
of my thoughts on my phone as I drove to work. I’ve been listening to The Productivity Project: Accomplishing More by Managing Your Time, Attention, and Energy
by
Chris Bailey, and I am beginning to see more and more that my problem is not a
lack of time as much as it is a lack of energy. As an introvert working at a
job designed for extroverts, I am feeling the energy drain more and more when I
do not get time alone at home to recharge. When I actually do get a day off to
myself, depending on how long I’ve gone without my recharge time, I can
sometimes find my energy again which leads to writing motivation. I know
sometimes, motivated or not, I just have to write, which I can do fairly well
when I have a deadline, like a monthly blog post or an anthology contest. In an
ideal energy situation, I would probably set about 30 minutes to an hour aside
to write in the evenings before rewarding myself with a TV show or computer
game. Speaking of technology, I often shut my computer down and write by hand
because my computer is full of distractions and writing in a notebook helps me
to focus better.
**This post is a part of the new Flashback Friday series. Participants use the last Friday of each month to repost an old post that needed more attention, that you're very proud of, that you think is still relevant, etc. It is hosted by Michael G D'Agostino at A Life Examined. This post from November 15, 2010 really struck a chord for me with how my life has been the past few months.**
“Be still and know that I am God.” Those words from Psalm 46:10 have always made an impact in my life, and most of the time I never realized it. I can’t remember when I first learned that verse, but it has come back to me at many of the toughest points of my life. Over the past few years, the impact of those words and their meaning has impressed itself upon me. It usually happens when I start getting worked up and worried. I over-think everything going on in my life and start asking all those “why,” “how,” and “what if” questions. I finally drive myself to a state of total confusion and frustration, and that’s when God reminds me of His Word. He said, “Be still.” Calm down, breathe, let go of those anxious thoughts. And here’s the best part: “Know that I am God.” No matter what I’m going through, whatever is troubling me, God is there. He knows everything that is going on, and He is in control. Knowing that really does bring me back to a sense of peace and comfort. Here’s another way I look at it: I have no idea how to fly a plane. I could sit in the cockpit and mess with all the buttons and knobs, but I doubt I’d get anywhere without a real pilot in control. Life can be the same way sometimes. It’s better to sit back and enjoy the ride instead of trying to rush to the front of the plane and fly it myself at the first sign of turbulence. I just got to trust that my pilot (God) knows what He’s doing and I could really crash and burn if I try to take matters into my own hands.
