Breaking the Silence

           It has been quite a long time since I last posted anything.  I feel as though time has been against me, but I haven’t really been busy, at least not busier than normal.  I guess I’ve been sort of stumped for writing ideas and I really haven’t felt like writing a lot lately.  I have not even been journaling as much as I used to.  My creative side does not want to allow this to keep happening, so I am beginning again.  It is about time I dust off this old “pen” and take it up again.  With a new year already well underway, almost 2 months in, to be precise, I have felt inspired to make my own resolutions.  There have been many inspirations over the last couple months prodding me back to writing.  I recently finished a Bible study in Colossians which helped renew my prayer journal.  I came across a Great Courses catalog last month and ended up ordering some courses, including a couple on writing.  I’ve watched 2 lectures from one course about the way we structure sentences, and it has been enjoyable so far.  I’ve felt inspired in other areas as well.  I have always been excited about learning new things, so getting these courses has been encouraging.  I have also been studying Mandarin Chinese with Rosetta Stone, which has been tough but interesting.  I have been reading fiction on a more regular basis again.  All of this has helped me to feel renewed, inspired, and ready for some positive new beginnings/changes in my life.

This may not sound interesting to you.  Maybe reading, writing, learning, and Chinese sound too boring or too difficult.  My point is this: do whatever it is that inspires you.  Seek out ways to renew your interest in life.  Seek God above all else, because He is the ultimate source of inspiration and redemption.  God doesn’t want us to mope about in a pity parties about the state of our lives, our economy, or our country.  We need to go out and make the most of the time that’s been given to us. 

I hope to write more often.  In fact, I’m thinking about participating in a blog challenge and I will provide more details if I do decide to take part. I also hope to make a few changes and updates to this blog and those will come as time allows.  Until then, it has been nice to come back and I hope those of you who read this will enjoy whatever comes next :)

A Year in Photos

November 2012-October 2013: A Photoblog

(Warning: Most of these pictures are unedited) 

 



 





 

 Note to self: This site is not meant for organizing many photos...do not attempt a photo blog in this manner again!

Note to readers: I love taking pictures, especially of nature, and I took most of these throughout the past year. I hope you enjoyed this different expression of myself despite the spotty presentation of it.

 

How Do You Function?

            I forgot my phone one day when I went to work a couple weeks ago. Until then, I hadn’t realized how much it had become an extension of myself. My phone has become a part of my daily functionality. I was sitting in my car during my lunch break and decided to go straight into reading my book, since I couldn’t check email or Facebook. I came across a word I didn’t know and started to dig for my phone to look it up; wait, it’s not there. I got bored with reading and started wishing I could look up grocery ads for my shopping trip the following day. I thought of something I wanted to take note of and I had to dig through my glove compartment trying to find paper. I saw something interesting outside the window and wanted to text my brother about it, I even felt an urge to text him about how I didn’t know what to do with myself without my phone! Of course, I survived, but it was so strange how I felt like a part of me was missing.

            Can you imagine if we felt that way about God? What if we allowed Him to become such a huge part of our daily existence that we could hardly function without Him? God wants us to seek Him throughout the day; to hunger and thirst after His righteousness. I think of the words to a hymn I heard recently: “I need Thee, oh, I need Thee. Every hour I need Thee.” I find myself asking: Do I acknowledge God’s presence each and every hour of the day? God is always there, He is always with us, and yet there are moments when we disregard His presence and fall into worry or regret. If we would only seek after God each moment of the day, maybe some of the most stressful days would not be so bad. Maybe you can’t always get down on your knees and close your eyes in prayer, but you can say silent prayers as you go about the day. Maybe I should do that more often instead of allowing anxious thoughts to take over my mind. So, the next time you “need” your phone for something, think about the One we truly need to function in this life.

“My voice shalt Thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto Thee, and will look up.” Psalm 5:3 (KJV)

“Show me Your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths; guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long.” Psalm 25: 4-5 (NIV)

“On my bed I remember You; I think of You through the watches of the night.” Psalm 63:6 (NIV)

When Life Gives You Lemons

           I can’t believe another month has passed. It’s amazing how quickly time can go even if you are not necessarily having fun. I’ll be honest, I have not had a good week. I had to work 6 days in a row, I have had allergy and congestion problems the entire time, and we were short-handed at work with two people gone on vacation. I guess it’s no wonder that I’ve stayed sick, since I have not had a chance to rest and recuperate. I try not to complain, because I know that God is always with me, but there were moments when I just wanted to give up. As Christians, we are not promised a life full of perfect days, in fact the Bible states the opposite:

“We sent Timothy…to strengthen and encourage you in your faith, so that no one would be unsettled by these trials. For you know quite well that we are destined for them.” (1 Thessalonians 3:2-3)

“In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (1 Peter 1:6-7)

The sad thing is that my “trials” and the “trials” of many Christian Americans today are nowhere near as troubling as what the early Christians had to go through. Currently, we have it easy in comparison, although, I’m afraid a time will soon come when we too will suffer persecution for our faith. Regardless, there is no reason to grumble and complain about any circumstances. Paul and Silas sang praises when they were chained up in prison, Jesus slept through a storm at sea, Esther stood up to her fears, and there are so many other examples of how God’s people have overcome their situations and fully relied on faith in God. So, instead of focusing on your current surroundings, focus on finding God in the midst of it all. Some people find peace in the beauty of nature, some through hymns, and all of us should find it through the promises of God’s Word; just allow God into your mind and heart and let Him fill you with His joy. Even when I find myself surrounded by noise and people, I still pray silently for His strength and peace.

“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” (James 1”2-4)

Remember that God works through your trials to help you learn and grow. Don’t focus on circumstances, look instead at what God is doing with your life and how you can use what you have learned to help others.

A Little About Me

            A few years ago, a note was going around on facebook titled: “25 Random Things About Me.”  Many of my friends typed up 25 things that people may not know about them.  Just for fun, I decided to use that again, but I’ll change some of them this time.  I decided to include things some people don’t know, things God is working on in my life, and just a few random, quirky facts.  I hope you enjoy :)

1.      I was born in Mesa, Arizona and I spent my childhood there.

2.      My mom enrolled me in a private Christian school at age 5 and I didn’t pass the test to get into kindergarten, so they put me in Pre-K.

3.      After attending two different private schools for Pre-K and kindergarten, I was homeschooled for 1^st through 3^rd grade.

4.      The last time I posted the 25 things, I said I had never flown in a plane, and that is no longer true.

5.      I could easily name off at least 5 new ideas for blog posts, but the problem is that I never put in the time to truly go in depth on those ideas.

6.      In the 6^th grade I was “seriously” considering a career as an actress.

7.      In kindergarten, when asked what I want to be when I grow up, I said “a mommy.”

8.      I have been to all of the southernmost states, except for Louisiana.

9.      I love to travel and see new places.

10.  I find many hobbies and occupations interesting and I have trouble committing myself to learning just one, or at least one at a time.

11.  Although I have taken breaks away from books, I still always love reading and will readily escape into any good book that comes my way.

12.  Speaking of books, I am seriously considering writing one. I even have a topic picked out with 5 pages of brainstorming.

13.  God has been teaching me the importance of finding contentment in my life. Many of my past blog posts would show how I’ve been challenged in that area.

14.  I like things to be neat and organized, although my desk and closet would prove otherwise.

15.  Ester and Ruth from the Bible are my role models.

16.  I want to live my life like the Proverbs 31 woman.

17.  At the age of 29, I still feel like I’m going through a quarter-life crisis, but I trust that God will show me where He wants to take my life.

18.  I may be quiet, but I do enjoy the company and fellowship of friends.

19.  According to Gary Chapman’s love languages book, my love language is quality time.

20.  My favorite radio station is Classical 88.7. I find classical music to be so beautiful and inspiring.

21.  I also like many Christian songs and hymns, and a few too many songs from musicals.

22.  If asked, I never can come up with my favorite movie, song, restaurant, book, etc., but I would be happy to list 10 of my favorites in no particular order.

23.  I can’t even narrow down to one favorite verse, although there are some that have stuck out the last few years: Prov. 3:5-6, Jer. 29:11, and Isa. 41:10.

24.  Even though I force myself to go to sleep a little earlier than I used to (some nights) and sometimes I actually fall asleep early out of pure exhaustion, I think I will still always be a night owl.

25.  The past couple of months, I have heard a lot of good, convicting preaching at camps and teaching from the retreat this past weekend. God has shown me that I must fully surrender my life to Him.  I am working on this one day at a time and striving to commit each day to Him.

Redeemed, How I Love to Proclaim It

            Recently, after sharing his own testimony, Pastor Clay encouraged those who are Christians to share their own. A few weeks later, at the camp in Missouri, the counselors and campers were encouraged to share their testimonies during the girls’ nightly devotion. I had never really told anyone the full story until that night. I guess it's because I compare myself to others too much. I don't remember the specific date. I wasn't saved from a life full of regrets. Many testimonies people give include factors like those and I guess I always found mine to be uninteresting in comparison. In retrospect, I now know that my viewpoint has been wrong. Jesus Christ saved me from my sins. It doesn't matter how great or small those sins are in the world's eyes "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). So, getting saved was the most important thing I've ever done, and I will share my personal testimony.

            For most of the first 9 years of my life, I attended Mesa Baptist Church. I remember some of my Sunday school and singing in the children's choir. My more vivid memories come from AWANA on Wednesday nights. I remember practicing verses and struggling with praying in front of my mom. I also remember one night when the leaders invited us to accept Jesus in our hearts and I raised my hand and was led to another room with some other kids. I was 6 and I really didn't understand what was happening. I knew who Jesus was, but I didn't have a grasp on what it meant to be saved. A few years later, my family moved and we had a hard time finding a new church. I still wanted to be involved in AWANA, so my dad took me to a new church on Wednesday nights, but the rest of my family didn't come. During those years, my family was struggling a lot. We would attend church together some Sundays, but it was always somewhere different. We tried my cousins' church for a while, we tried local churches, and we even went with a family friend, but his church was a little too far. Eventually, Sunday church seemed to fade out except when I visited my grandma, who was as devoted to her church family as she was to her ailing husband. Despite the spontaneity of my church attendance, it seemed that one message still rang through everywhere I went. God loves me, He has a plan for me, and He sent His Son to die on the cross to save me. I think understanding finally hit me after my cousins were baptized when I was 10 or 11. I remember asking questions about what they were doing and my mom explained that baptism was a visual representation of salvation. I don't know how much time passed after that, but I do remember reading my Bible one night in my bedroom, and I fully understood that I was lost and needed a Savior. I remember talking with my mom and I accepted Jesus into my heart that night and I was excited! I brought my Bible over to my neighbor's house the next day and tried to lead her and my brother in a salvation prayer. Only God knows if they really understood what I was so excited about or what the words they repeated meant, but I hope that I at least planted a seed. Since I was not a member of any particular church, I was not baptized until my family moved to Oklahoma. Although baptism is not necessary for salvation, it does symbolize the cleansing and new life God gives us when we are saved, and I was glad to finally feel like I was a part of the church body. That is the story of how God saved me. I wish I would have shared sooner, I felt so free after sharing with the girls in Missouri. I also wish I would have had a better grasp of time when it happened; I think it was part way because I was homeschooled for 3 years and I had no sense of time or what day it was or even the month! It took me many years before I began keeping track of time. :)

            If you are reading this and you don't understand what I'm talking about, then I would be happy to show you some more verses from the Bible that explain our sinful nature and our need for salvation. We all are like lost sheep in need of a shepherd to save us. I don't really think there's a right or wrong way to pray, you just need to admit to God that you are a sinner and that you believe with all your heart that His Son, Jesus Christ, died on a cross for our sins and He rose from the grave on the third day. Salvation is a gift from God, and if you accept His sacrificial gift, you can be saved from an eternity in Hell. If you are a Christian, then I challenge you to share your salvation testimony with at least one other person. It truly feels great to let others know what God has done for us. Like one of my pastors likes to say: if God never blessed you after the moment of your salvation, you are still blessed and have a reason to be joyful! I have been blessed in so many ways beyond my salvation, and I know I’m not usually the brightest light to others, so this challenge goes to myself as well. We do have joy and hope and even if circumstances are tough, we know that one day we will all be in Heaven. Let’s share this message that God has commissioned to us so that others may join us.

“Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you; and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” Matthew 28:19-20

Reminiscing

          Ten years ago on May 23, I graduated from high school.  It is hard to believe.  This whole month has been full of reminders of my years in school.  It all started with one of my elementary school friends posting our 6^th grade class picture.  Her picture received over 300 comments and someone created a group for those of us who attended Luke Elementary together.  Reading through some of the posts and reconnecting with those people I knew as a child has brought back so many great memories.  A couple weeks later, a group was created for Checotah High School’s class of 2003 reunion planning.  Seeing all these faces from the past has led to a lot of reflection on my life.  It is amazing how much I have experienced and learned over the years.  Memories are also incredible, like how we can recall events and people from just a picture or a few words.  I am grateful that God has given me good memories to cherish from my past.  I am also grateful that God has used the mistakes of people around me and my own failures to teach me and strengthen my faith.

            I know that I have been taught not to dwell too much on the past, and I will admit that I have been thinking of those “good ol’ days” a lot lately. I am sad to say that those carefree days of childhood are gone, but sitting here and wishing for them to come back will not get me anywhere.  Dwelling on regrets is another dead-end thought process.  It does not matter now what I did or did not say or do back then.  It is all in the past; it’s over; life must go on.  We have all heard these clichés, and yet those 300 comments prove that many people are past-dwellers.  Let’s see what God has to say about this:
 “Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account.” Ecc. 3:15
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am making a new thing!” Isa. 43:18-19a

          I think that what these and other verses are saying is that while there is nothing wrong with reminiscing, we should not let our pasts control us.  We should learn from mistakes and not repeat them.  Another thing I’ve learned over the years is that there are so many things that are out of our control.  There will be times when we feel extreme sadness or disappointment and there will be times of excitement and bliss.  But when one chapter ends and another begins, do we linger in that chapter or allow the story to move on as we enter the next one.  In other words, life will change; what is today may not be tomorrow.  I’m sure God does not mind if we look back and smile at past experiences, but He does not want us to stay there.  In times like these, Christians should be on high alert to what is currently going on.  We can’t all just long for days of old, or regret choices made in the past.  We also should not yearn too much for the future.  God has a plan for each of us right here and right now!

P.S. I hope that this post makes sense.  I feel as though I started going one direction, but then ended up going somewhere else. There was also a gap in time between when I started and finished writing. I didn’t have much time to edit, but I thought I’d share my thoughts anyway.  Feel free to ask for clarification on any points, and thanks for reading :)